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My roommates had to put down one of their cats today...Hermann was no longer able to feed himself or bathe or walk or do anything that healthy cats do. He suffered from seizures and I, personally, think that he had a stroke during the last grand mal seizure.
There's this quiet sobbing grayness pervading the still afternoon.
I wish it would rain...
There's this quiet sobbing grayness pervading the still afternoon.
I wish it would rain...
What About Us
We never really made plans for the future. We took it day by day...without even ever talking about it It wasn't on either of our radars. We just lived in the moment without realizing it. So when this happened, my world shattered but, I had no regrets. You gutted me sure. But it was my present, not my future. Not having you in my life is hard. It's the day to day that's getting me. I cry because I miss the mornings and the tea. I cry because I miss the comradery. The talks over whatever was going on then, that moment. There was never conversation about the future. So my future is clear...I take it day by day, moment by moment. Because we never really made plans.
Deadly asps. You go first.
Stealing the line from Raiders of the Lost Ark...You go first. I'm not reaching out anymore. I'll answer. I'll engage. You want to talk to me, then talk to me. Send the first text, make the first call. I'm tired of playing the fool for you. I swear you're laughing at me. Poor woman can't let go. Poor woman can't let go. You go first. Then we'll see how it plays out.
Fire
I write everything as though you're reading it but, I hope you're not. I'm not sure I ever loved you but, I'm just as unsure if I'll ever stop. I won't convince you to love me. Not when I'm a fire. Not when I'm a fire and drowning men keep thinking I'm here to save them. Not when I'm a fire. I'd need to be nourished and fed love. Not a half portion of promises. I need the right person for my soul. One that will hear me. One that will show up. One that will support me. I don't know if I'd call what we had love, but I know I wanted to. With all my heart, I wanted to. I'm a fire and not easily put out.
5 Minutes
I couldn't even get 5 minutes. You used to give me hours... I have to let you go. It's eating me up...how can I be so devastated. So crushed. So gutted. Now, it seems, that I have to be "drama-free" in able to continue to be your friend. That if I can't be then you're just going to cut me lose completely. I should do that myself. I should. I need to say that was shitty of you. I didn't deserve that. You could at least have given me 5 minutes.
© 2016 - 2024 waymorewickedwitch
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